Only a few days left and I will continue my journey with my camper and cat through Europe. This time my first destination will be Ljubljana (Slovenia) where I will speak at the Future Leaders Forum. To share my story, travelling and working remotely and sharing the reason why I took this decision to shift my life completely.

My route

First stop will be in Germany where I will stop for lunch at Claudia’s place. It will be a special meeting because we have never met each other live but we were both close to Miek, our common friend who passed away last year in a car accident, a week before Christophe. I’m sure that Miek will be pleased that we finally met!

Let’s cherish and share the beautiful memories we had of this amazing lady that has a special place in my heart (and I know of many others).

Then up to Hector, a dear friend that I met years ago when we were both involved in Meeting Professionals International. Despite it’s years ago, we're still in touch. When we meet we change the world :-) After that I will continue to Ljubljana to speak and to moderate the Future Leaders Forum and attend the Conventa tradeshow the day after.

And I just heard this week that it might be possible that I will have a buddy for the road to Ljubljana…. and guess who??? Keep you posted!

At home

I spent 6 weeks at home with my father (including a short break in Germany). Great to be back home but the contrast was enormous. From living the free life, creating my own schedule, having a totally different routine and life, being back at home. It took me some time to adapt and to adjust. It’s strange because my journey literally helped in my process. In my journey to deal with my grieving process, which is difficult for others who are not in a similar situation to explain what it meant to take the step to accomplish a dream which was meant for me and Christophe.

A moment of reflection at the beach, thinking about the past and the future, and trying to live in the moment.
A challenge….

It’s already more than a year ago that I’m officially a widow, a title that I would have wished never to have, but I have to deal with it. I thought, naive as I was, that time will ease the situation but the opposite is true. The first year was survival, taking care of the follow-up, administration, dealing with my accountant in the Netherlands and in Belgium, sorting out stuff, moving in with my father, picking up my work, and taking part again in the social life.

Some widows told me already, the second year is tougher and it’s damn true. People don’t reach out anymore, they forgot or moved on with their lives. I don’t blame them, they simply don’t know. Now my body starts to feel how exhausted I am. Like my grieving therapist says, it’s moving into your body, yes it is after the first year of survival. Despite that my condition is good, my appetite is rising, eating healthy, taking extra vitamins, going to the osteopath, therapy etc. etc. It feels like now I’m finally faced with the naked truth, despite that I have accepted my new life and situation.The pain doesn’t go away, it’s part of my life, the scar is in my heart.

“It’s never over; it becomes a new identity or new relationship.”

I’m extremely grateful for the opportunities that I had with Christophe, that he gave me what I needed to continue, but it cost me so much effort.

Uncertainty

Some people ask, where are you going? And when will you be back in the Netherlands? Normally I’m a planner (yes, I’m still an event professional) and tend to create and plan ahead, just not now. I’m going to Slovenia and that’s the only thing I know. All the rest after is a question mark. That’s super strange for me.

Like my therapist says, trust the process. She’s damn right, but oh so difficult. I have to let go but it’s so hard.

I don’t see myself buying or renting a place of my own. Where? Which country, city? I just have no clue. Despite the uncertainty I am positive about the future, the only way is up.

Spending the summer with the queen of Germany and creating new and beautiful memories. With friends who I can laugh and cry and be myself. Cheers meine Liebe.

My new future - rebirth

Let’s keep it positive! I’m really looking forward to the second part of my journey and everything happens with a reason.

After experiencing my grieving process and not knowing how intense this is, I decided to learn more about grief and loss. Reading lots of books, watching videos, speaking with experts I created my new path. I want to support others (entrepreneurs) who are confronted with a similar situation. Not everyone will seek out professional help, a therapist is perhaps a bridge too far, but speaking with someone who’s been in a similar situation might help. And I wouldn’t be an event planner as if I wouldn’t be dreaming of gatherings in which loss, death and grief are the storyline and where people are free to express their emotions, struggles and challenges without being judged.

Next, during my journey I will interview people in different countries how they are dealing with grief and loss. In case you’re living in Germany, Slovenia, Austria or Croatia and you are a widow and entrepreneur, please contact me. I’m cuirous and interested how other cultures are dealing with this topic. Next, the support of the government is in each country very different. For example in the Netherlands I don’t get any penny from the government, but I know in Germany they do get support.

My biggest dream is still to do a Ted Talk, going on stage and to shary the story about my life

New media partner

I’m so happy to announce that I have another great media partner covering my story; Kongress Magazine. Gorzad, Natalija and your team, thank you very much for your support!

My new media partner - Kongress Magazine

And my three existing mediapartners, THINK MICE, MICE Benelux and MPI will continue to be part of my journey, thankx guys!

That’s all for now folks! I will continue with packing my camper and prepare myself for the second part.

Rebirth