Nostalgie

Picture taken on the ferry in July 2009 - on our way to Corsica

Sitting on the terrace of Haagen Dazs overlooking the harbour of Toulon, I’m getting emotional and happy at the same time. I see the two boats of Corsica Ferries which remind me that I took the boat in the summer of 2010 with Christophe to Corsica, our first holiday together. The evening before we spend the night in a hotel close to the harbour to take the ferry the day after. After dinner we had an ice cream at Haagen Dazs, therefore I have chosen this particular place today. 

I don’t remember much of Toulon, not sure if things have changed in the city. I’m sure it did! But I do remember that I told Christophe travelling with me is always an adventure! Upon arrival there were wildfires and we had to take a huge detour to arrive at the camping. On top I got car sick because of all the curves we had to take, because the regular road was closed. Never a dull moment in my life.

Memories

The point is nobody knows about these moments and memories, just me! These were our adventures, our memories together. Therefore it’s so hard because nobody will refresh your memory about these particular moments in your life. Sometimes I’m afraid that I will lose them.

It’s healing for me to cherish the beautiful moments together (and of course we had like every other couple our challenges!) I still have to learn to allow myself the time to go through this process. To accept the ups and downs. There’s no book, no guidelines to say what’s the best way to go through this process, you just have to experience it. If it was that simple!! 

I am still learning…

I’m working everyday but some days are just challenging and it makes no sense to continue working. One day nothing came out of my hands, I was emotional, I lacked energy, I decided to go for a walk and discovered there was a local market. The tourist season hasn't started yet and the majority were locals. I enjoy the atmosphere of the market. 

When I came back I finished my book of Francis Weller ‘The wild egde of sorrow’ which was the best book so far that I have read about loss and grief. It was an eye opener, for met at least. I’m exploring the horizon of this topic which I’m really intrigued by. If you are experiencing a grieving process you know what I mean. 

Late afternoon I went to the hammam to sweat all the shit out of my body. At least I tried!! I felt much better when I came back and had a good night's sleep. It seems so simple, but I have to work according to my intuition and energy flow. The day after I had a very productive day, and did everything I wanted to accomplish before the weekend took off.

This journey is loaded, on many levels. Exploring a new destination, proceeding in the grieving process and personal development journey and many other things. And yes it’s still true, the second year is tougher despite its differences. It feels heavier in a way.

The grieving walk in Cannes

Next I’m going back in my role as an eventplanner, preparing my first international grieving walk in Cannes, better said on the island of St. Honorat. Grateful to continue to support other people who are going through a grieving process.

It gives me energy to be on the road and to exchange and meet new people. Even meeting a friend with whom I worked when I was still a tour leader, 17 years ago in Morocco! Time flies :-)

I wanted to visit so many destinations, cities or do activities but I tend to forget that I only have 24 hours in one day. And that moving from one place to another with a camper is not always easy. I decided to stay on the small and quiet camping ‘a la ferme’ for 12 days in a row (one of the happy few that are open and have good ratings!!!). The beach is 400 metres, an excellent bakery, and some shops around the corner. I can do my yoga or running in the morning, work, do my laundry and more. And moreover Loekie is evolving herself as a real camping cat and loves to spend time outside. She caught her first lizard! Incredible. 

My little place on the camping in Brusc, France

Like we say in French, on est bien ici. So I’m recharging my battery for some busy upcoming weeks. Just thinking and reflecting on why I didn't leave earlier?? You stupid women!!! 

My French is improving! It was a long time ago that I haven’t spoken the language and it’s getting better every day. And cliche but true it’s much easier to speak the language! 

Helping the locals

Do you know that I have a virtual sign above my head where it’s written : information point? Everywhere I go people tend to ask me, can you help me? I returned from the shop with 6 bottles of water by foot and a lady, across the street, asked me something. I didn’t hear her very well and answered that I am a tourist. She seemed really lost and decided to cross the street to help her. She said that she's looking for a nursing home. Let that be the only place I know because I passed by everyday. I decided to leave my 6 bottles on the street and gave her an arm and guided her back to her place, which was just around the corner. She said she is 90 years old, seems quite fit and chatted all the time, about her life, her daughter and more. To be sure that this was the right place I guided her to the entrance. And she seemed familiar here. By the way, it is a very nice place, a nursing home with sea view, swimming pool, jacuzzi and more.

She thanked me many times, and I said pleasure is all mine. Returning to my 6 bottles of water, which was being kept by another old lady waiting for the bus (which never came… of course a strike again…we are in France… ).  And I thought I would just simply buy some water! 

Just a few days left before my journey starts in Cannes. Yes! An excellent start of more adventures and stories. To be continued….