Mariska Kesteloo

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Dutch habits

I remembered very well the moment Christophe was preparing his favorite dessert, creme brulee in the kitchen in our house in Belgium. We just moved into our new house. And suddenly he says, shit, we don’t have enough eggs. Oops, where do you find eggs on a Sunday afternoon in Oostakker?

We’re talking about 10 years back. All supermarkets are closed, nightshops not open yet… what do you do? Christophe got annoyed and said, no creme brulee for you honey! What do you reply as a Dutch women; we have neighbours! In Belgium perhaps less common to knock on your neighbours’ door but I didn’t care (therefore I love the quote above). So I went in my sunday clothes, we Dutch dress down that day, comfy, homy clothes and no make-up. I saw the neighbours a couple of times, always well dressed and friendly.

So I rang at their door and Cathy opened the door, perfectly dressed, make-up, including high heels. I felt embarrassed but I really wanted the eggs so I explained that Christophe was preparing creme brulee, but we we were missing some eggs. She was super friendly and apparrently also surprised by my request but went directly to the kitchen and got the entire box with eggs. I said, we will give you some creme brulee to taste the results, she loved the idea.

I got home with a box full of eggs, and Christophe smiled. I said, I am and remain Dutch just for the next time I’ll visit the neighbours, just I sincerely need to change my clothes. Later that day Christophe rang at the door and shared the results of favourite dessert. 

The next day, working from home (again comfy clothes, no make-up, embarrassing). Cathy, our neighbour rang at the door. She entered with two empty ‘jars’ with a big smile on her face and said, it was delicious! Since then, our friendship with the neighbours started.  And everytime Christophe prepared creme brulee, we shared jars with the neighbours. We even invited them at home for dinner and never got away without creme brulee.

I know by living and working in different countries, it’s not always appropriate to go spontaneously to your neighbours. Of course it’s the way you will approach the people and what your question is.

When we lived in Houston, our neighbors above us made so much noise, it was incredibly. The apartment was made of wood (like you see in the moves if they knock hard on the walls, you enter the room next door, or the neighbours, for Dutch people a bit strange) and you could hear almost everything. I didn’t know what was appropriate and asked Christophe to join me. An excellent suggestion seemed afterwards.

The first time we knocked on the door, no reaction (probably the noise) and Christophe wanted to walk away. I said, no, try another time,we knocked harder and a man opened the door very little, we could barely see his face. We explained that we recently moved in and asked if that was the same for them, he answered no. We asked if they could reduce the noise, and he blamed the kids. As we spoke, we created trust and opened the door further and I looked into his  eyes (another bad habit as a Dutch) and the only thing I saw was aggression. We wrapped quickly up the conversation and walked away. I decided never to knock on their door again, but the noise remain and only got worse.

Then I moved to the Netherlands and the electricity fell out, this happens (in my life it happened in every country). I thought, let’s check the meter cupboard and I saw everything turned red, switched it to green (logical). For 2 hours I didn’t had electricity, a bit strange. I went out to get some groceries and saw my neighbour entering the door. I asked if he had issues with the electricity and said yes. Got some groceries, went back and still no sign of life. I rang at the neighbors and asked if I could look into their meter cupboard, no problem, join me.

I entered the house, without asking my name or what so ever. He was very friendly and opened the meter cupboard for me. Then I saw the issue, where I thought that green is go, in a Dutch meter cupboard it’s the opposite (talking about cultural differences) I thanked my neighbor and his wife. Entered my house, I switched the things and the electricity got running again. The way the neighbor treated me for Dutch people is very normal and common, it’s definitely not if you have lived in other countries.

But then I noticed again, yes this is Holland, I am Dutch and I love my country.