How does my van life look like?

Every day is different and I don’t have any routine! A simple conclusion. Of course there are things I want to accomplish like going 2 times a week for a run, doing yoga but these are not obliged. Oh yeah, cleaning the toilet of Loekie everyday! All the rest is fluid, and varies everyday, a reflection of my entire life.

Loekie

Traveling with a pet is something I have never done. The first trip through Poland with her was perfect, she only escaped once and came back by herself. Just now with the tropical temperatures, it’s a challenge. After a week Loekie started to bite and lick again on the same spots she had 8 months ago, and I saw them growing. No option left than to go to the Vet. I decided to go in Croatie, Split as I was staying at the same spot for a week. And with the support of a fantastic local friend (who speaks the language and is a fixer) we went to the VET together. A young friendly lady checked her and came to the following conclusion; Change her food, wash her with a special disinfecting shampoo and she needs to wear a cone and on top, she needs to loose weight.

Loekie was furious after her research (well I would have done the same if they check on certain unpleasant places in my body) and scratched all of us. There I stood with a to do list. Luckily, my friend has a car and drove me to the different places to buy the required stuff. (this is something I could never done with my camper, and to find the places…)

We are a more than a week later, it’s better but still not fully cured, it takes time. I am convinced that she has these symptoms because she’s missing Christophe just like I do. She started with this behavior after he passed away. Emotions have a huge impact on a pet, and who knows what happened with Loekie when they broke in in my camper. Despite these challenges I am still happy to have her at my side. I could never leave her alone for 4 months, despite my dad would take care of her.

Airco

After driving 9000 km with my camper I discovered that the airco is working!! It would have been nice if someone told me not only to move the button but also to push the button?. I laughed so hard when I was driving.. Better laten than never right?! Learning by doing :-)

Health

I gained weight… and I am so happy about it, something I could never ever imagine!

Did you know that it took me more than a year to gain back my appetit and taste? Can you imagine? And no, this has nothing to do with that C thing. It’s just one of the many symptoms of a grieving process! Sometimes I thought it would not never come back, but I remained positive and you see the result. Step by step, I’m enjoying life again, slowly and steady moving forward. I still have a long way to go. I sleep better but still it wasn’t as good as before. My condition is improving, and I am in a good shape. This has to do that camping life is doing me well in general, and taking time for sports. I have definitely shifted my priorities. But my general energy level is not yet back as full as it was.

Broken

Meeting with someone who has a similar experience is extremely helpful. You understand each other with one word or no words, knowing how it is to say see your soulmate from 49 years dying. How it is to see that the person you love, from an active healthy man into a helpless patient. Taking care of your loved one like a helpless baby. The images are still at the forefront of my mind and this last phase of his life is for me still extremely difficult to talk about but that moment will come. It’s a trauma and time will tell.

Everyone who goes through a similar process experiences it in a different way and like my friend said, it’s like a heavy stone around your neck, the weight, the pain which is constantly present.

And sometimes it doesn’t feel fair, I am now here in Croatia, working and traveling, creating new adventures. While he, especially Christophe couldn’t not even kill a fly. He was such a caring, sensitive man and was loved by everyone. Why him?

So many thoughts, emotions still go through my head, every day. Despite that I cherish the beautiful moments that we had and I’m forever grateful meeting my soulmate, because this is not what happens to everyone.

I allow myself, and this is huge learning curve to give myself the time to deal with this process. (not to heal!). And I encourage everyone to allow yourself taking the time you need, if possible. Because it’s a lot, perhaps too much, and it’s a transition period.

Therefore I have decided to explore the options to support others who are going through a similar process, and will announce soon more details.

Every day again I try to balance my health, work, my new life style and taking time to grief. If that’s talking with friends, spending time alone or listen to music, going through old pictures, going for a run, it depends.

Do not live in the past. Lock the past in your heart and move on. Apparently I have chosen the right destination!

So again, if you’re asking about routine, it depends on so many aspects, mood, circumstances, work, myself and last but not least my lovely companion, Loekie. And on top I have never liked routine! My life is one adventure, and full with ups and downs.

PS I have paid 8 euros for a latte machiatto! The first time since my trips I have been ripped off… I can tik that also from my box!

Next week I will be back in Split to speak at an event, called Slomadism, the laidback mediterranean lifestyle, an event for digital nomads and friends. Keep you posted!